April 2009 Events

We are approaching a year since Boruch’s (Boris’s) transition to the Realm of Truth. With respect to the law of our ancestors and traditions of our heritage there are several events that are going to take place.  Please note that the dates for events are calculated according to the Hebrew calendar.

To learn more about the events, click on the links.

Kiddush on April 4, 09: 12:30 till 3pm

Unveiling of Tombstone on April 5, 09 11 am

Unveiling of Plaque on April 7, 09 7:15 am

Kiddush: Apr 4, 2009

Event: Kiddush

Date and time: Saturday, April 4, 09 from 12:30 till 3pm

Place: Chabad House of Pasadena, 1090 E. Walnut St., Pasadena, CA  91125   map

Directions:   From east:

Take 210 West

Hill Ave. exit

Left on Hill Ave.

Right on Walnut St.

Left on Wilson Ave.

From west:

Take 210 East

Lake Ave. Exit

Right on Lake Ave.

Left on Walnut St.

Right on Wilson Ave.

Parking is behind building.

About Kiddush:

Kiddush follows the religious service and consists of a lunch among the community. Our family is sponsoring the Kiddush in honor of our son Boruch (Boris).

The Kiddush (lunch) is an opportunity to acknowledge a person by speaking among the community, friends and family.

If you plan to attend this event and you are not a member of Chabad of Pasadena, please R.S.V.P. to Ella Ivshin at ellaivshin@hotmail.com or 323-823-7772

Unveiling of the Tombstone: Apr 5, 2009

 Event: Unveiling of the Tombstone

 Date: Sunday April 5, 09 at 11 am

Place: Mount Olive Memorial Park, 7231 E Slauson Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90040   map

Directions: From 5 North

                   Take Montebello/Slauson Exit

                   Sharp right at Telegraph Road

                   Right at E Slauson Ave.

           

       From 5 South

                   Take Slauson Exit

                   Right at E Slauson Ave.

 

                   Entrance is on right side

 

About the Unveiling Ceremony: 

The unveiling ceremony is another opportunity to acknowledge and honor a loved one.  It is a time and place to remember, grieve and embrace a person and their life to its fullest.

 The ceremony of unveiling has several parts. One of the parts is speaking about a loved one, his/her life and qualities that one had and the impact that had on you. You are welcome to prepare a speech and you will be given an opportunity to share your feelings and thoughts.

 According to Jewish customs you can bring a small stone to be placed at the graveside as a mark of your visit.

Unveiling of the Plaque: April 7, 2009

Event: Unveiling of the Plaque

Date: Tuesday April 7, 09 at 7:15 am

Place: Chabad House of Pasadena, 1090 E. Walnut St., Pasadena, CA  91125    map

Directions:   From east:

Take 210 West

Hill Ave. exit

Left on Hill Ave.

Right on Walnut St.

Left on Wilson Ave.

From west:

Take 210 East

Lake Ave. Exit

Right on Lake Ave.

Left on Walnut St.

Right on Wilson Ave.

Parking is behind building.

About unveiling of the Plaque:

According to the Hebrew calendar, the day of Boruch’s transitions is 13 of Nissan. This year his Yahrzeit (mark of a year) falls on April 7, 09.

After morning prayer services, members of the congregation, friends and family can participate in unveiling of the plaque on the memorial wall in honor of Boruch. Following that, family and close friends will visit the gravesite.

Memorial Fund News

Dear loved ones,

We as a family greatly appreciate your donations that we received through direct deposit to Washington Mutual. At the time of setting up the account, we did not realize that it would become anonymous, and we will have no means to find your name and thank you individually, or even send you receipts for your taxes.

Therefore, we would greatly appreciate it if you would send us an email and tell us who you are. If you choose to stay anonymous, then please accept our deepest gratitude for you kindness and generosity. We will keep you posted on where and how your donation was spent. We hope that you will understand that we had no experience prior to that and you will accept our apologies for that mishap.

Ivshin Family

Conversations with my son Boruchka

Conversations with my son Boruchka
(read during May 11 Shloshim memorial Service)

Once I wrote:
“God’s smile turned in blessing of the child
that came to life with tiny hands and feet
and the heart beat of a son became a beacon
that gave me strength in sleepless nights”

Once I said:
“the beat of your heart and the look in your eyes
gives me strength  to walk the path
of Mother which work is never done
as long as your heart is aligned with mine”

Once I explained to you:
“You are my son, you are my love
and I am your mom and,
I am your ‘Dream Keeper’”

That was when it was my time to talk
and your time to learn and listen.

And then that night came
and in my dream you softly whispered:
“Mom I am not coming home tonight…”
But I did not want to listen.
Plain and simple.

And that was that…
Instead of your dreams,
The dream I dreamt came true
Wiping away everything
You have dreamed and I so carefully
kept for you.

And now we are here today,
Again… talking to each other
You from above… my son
And I from below… your mother.

And do you remember,
How many times you screamed to me:
“…mom this is not fair?”

I answered:
“….get used to it – this is life,
what is new?”

You did not want to hear
and I… did not listen…

And now I am screaming to you:
“This is not fair, my son
…this is so not fair…
and so damn painful”
Can you listen?

But apparently – my time to talk is gone
Now it is your time to talk
And my time to learn and listen

And on darkest night of nights
When my soul is weeping
with an empty heart, and a big black hole
that can’t find…the beat of yours
that once was here…right next to mine…

Your soul is shinning and your eyes
Are looking right into mine and
Somewhere from the deep space above
You are whispering:

“Mom, look at me Mom”
you say,
“Mom, please listen…”

“Mom, there is no Past
Don’t go there, don’t go
Please…. Listen…”

“My room is empty
My shell is gone
Don’t search for me
inside your mind
and empty house
It’s only memories
That’s left…
It’s only pictures…”

“Mom – you say again,
Mom, I need you to look at me”
You order,
“I need you to listen:
Mom, there is no Future, mom…”

and then you whisper:

“The Now is only what we have
Mom stay with me in Now”
You say “…stay with me in Now.”

And you are firm and calm
And I am learning slowly
how to listen
To the son that is above
Still being mom,
Here, below.

I am with you my son
I am with you right now
And it’s so painful here,

And it’s so hard my love
To stay on feet that are so weak and shaking
And there is no ground on this Earth
that can hold me
and keep me straight and strong

And it’s so dark and empty here
Without you, my baby

But I am here
I am with you, my son
Here in Now
Where else would I be?
I am your mother
And I am listening.

And I can see your hands
That are reaching out
and pulling me right up
From the harsh, cold ground
on which I fell and lay
from the day when you so suddenly left…
…Not able to walk or breathe or smile

But with all my mother’s love for you
My son,
That’s larger than the biggest ocean
By listening to you
My son, my teacher…
I will dissolve my pain and I will lift my grief
for losing you on Earth.

And then,
I will unleash the wisdom of my soul
that is so well attuned and filled
with the frequency of God’s compassion…

It will ascend
and it will soar
and it will go right thorough,
just as a hot knife thorough butter,
of every one of the seven gates
of our Master’s castle.

And with the power of Trust and Faith
And with the Knowledge of the hidden secrets
That are installed in me…
and that I hold…In every single cell of my being
since I was born …I will find you once again

Do you know “how?”

By hearing and by following
the whisper of Hashem,
who created All and
knows the path of every living soul
that ever was and is
here on Earth and there, above.

He knows Truth –that is the truth
And that always was and will be
and that is given,
But,
The soul and heart of a mother
Knows the way- that is a fact
And I claim that,
Right here… with you… in Now

And as your Mother I proclaim,
with everyone being witness:

We are not lost, my dearest boy
We have a bond – Our Love.
It’s very strong – We will prevail

Remember,
We did it before and we will do it now.

And once again
you and me
Will dance in joy
And in celebration
for choosing the path
where you and I can walk together
in Grace, Freedom,
Beauty and Compassion,
And surely
With our famous weird teases and jokes

And through the laughter
once again…
by listening to the whisper of your soul
I will align my heart with yours

You, being in the Royal castle
there above – my son
While,
I am your mother-Here on Earth…
…In this amazing Now…
United thorough eternity
by the never ending love
of our God-Hashem
That lives in every Breath
without limit of Time
and limit of Space.

May 11 Memorial Service – How was it?

On May 11, at the Chabad of Pasadena, we held a Shloshim Memorial Service dedicated to Boruch Chaym Nochum (Boris) Ivshin. Which marked 30 days (according to the Jewish calendar) of Boris’s passing. The service on May 11th was coordinated and sponsored by Rabbi Chiam Hanoka. We as a family are very grateful for Rabbi Hanoka’s his wife Chana’s help and support that they provided to us.

Boris, attended this synagogue during the last 4-5 months, where he regularly spent every Shabbat and other Holidays, on his journey of spiritual awakening. He fell in love with the Rabbi’s family, his children, nieces and nephews and everyone else there. He enjoyed spending as much time as he could with them. It did not matter to him if he was playing football with them, skiing, cleaning the garage late at night or shopping for Shabbat. He truly enjoyed his time being there. Surly, we as a family supported him as much as we could in the new spiritual direction that he found for himself, though it meant less time with him.

Since not everyone who wanted to be at the service was able to make it, in the days after the May 11th service we were asked: “How was it?” In our attempt to provide you with as much information as we can, for those who loved Boris and are grieving with us, we asked friends who participated to answer that. You can read the responses below.

Also, several of the people who participated in the May 11th service asked me to post my poem that I read at the end of my speech. When I asked them “Why would you want me to do so?” they answered: “It might help others”. Because I am sure that last thing my son wanted to see is the people he loved and cared for so much being in pain, I will be posting the poem. I hope that it will bring you some comfort in this challenging time for all of us. It’s called “Conversations with my son Borushka.” If you would like to read it, please look for that post and page on the blog.

Here are the responses about the May 11th service.

“How was it…?”

—–
I don’t really know how to respond to such a question. One of the worst things that we will ever do is to attend the memorial service for the child of our friends.

The service was beautiful, emotional and educational. Boris’ spirit was inspiring as described by his friends and the temple members who rallied to give us all a better understanding of who he was and what he meant to them.

To us it was an uplifting experience that we are glad that you allowed us to share it with you all.

Love,
Frank & Elizabeth

—–
I was glad to be at the Temple service for Boris, to be there in support of you and your family, and in community with others who love you and feel your pain. I was touched by the words you shared about your son and the deep love and sentiment expressed for Boris by many others. I was moved by the different perspectives and wisdom that was shared about life and death. I took comfort in gathering with others to share in your grief and love of your son.

Continued love and Light to you, Gregory, and Daniel, to all who were touched by Boris’ life, to the event on the 18th and for healing on all levels,

Sherry Phelan, PhD

—–
It was a very special and moving evening. It started with people trickling in before the event and some family photos of Boruch being displayed. While looking at the photos, I knew that Boruch was more than anything those pictures can capture, but I was not ready for the powerful picture of who Boruch was, that was about to be unfolded.

The room quickly filled up. Interesting mix. Religious people, secular people, Rabbis, non Jews, and friend that did not know each other but they all knew Boruch.

Soon after the first speaker, Boruch’s Rabbi , started to speak, the true identity and life of Boruch started to unfold. As Boruch’s mother spoke, there was not a single dry eye in the room. Heart wrenching and inspiring recital of a mother’s poem to her son.

Boruch’s friend spoke of his dedication to his beliefs and his uncle spoke of the void that has left a bigger vacuum than any other loss in his life. Messages of hope, strength and vision were repeated by Boruch’s mom that in turn transmitted the belief in G-d’s ways and standing strong to all present.

May it be Hashem’s will that we should all celebrate a true celebration with Boruch with the coming of Moshiach Tzidkeinu.

Rabbi Danny Yiffach
Chabad of Marina

—–
Boruch’s, Boris’s Shloshim was very healing. I really enjoyed hearing the family talk about him, though it was painful at times. Boruch’s mother’s poem was heartfelt and true, and spoke of her past relationship, and continuing relationship with him. All the rabbis spoke about him in the most reverent manner, all touching on how holy a person he was, and how dedicated he was to being a good Jew. Overall it was very consoling to hear about him and talk about him, even if I missed him more during that time. Ultimately it feels good whenever he comes to mind, and last night was no exception.

David Kopp

Flower Arrangements – May 18th

There have been some questions in regards to flower arrangements and what is appropriate to bring for the May 18th event.

We are very thankful for your good intentions, and there is no question that flowers are a beautiful addition to any event. 

So, for those that would like to bring flowers this is what we propose:

a)  If you want to bring flowers – please bring them uncut …as something that can be re-planted. We will collect all flowers or bushes and plan them either on our front lawn or in his garden. (Boris had his own patio).

or

b) You may contribute the cost of flowers to either sponsoring the event or to The Boris Ivshin Memorial Fund. In that case, we will assure that every dollar that you donate will bring to our planet more joy, more beauty, more togetherness and love and compassion…because all of that …was him.

Urgent Note – Time Change – May 18

The start time of the May 18 event has been changed to 12 noon

There were several reasons for the change.

You may arrive earlier if you would like. Parking may also take some time.

However, we will make all attempts to start no later than 12 noon.

Please advise everyone you know about the time change, and keep checking the blog for last minute changes. We will bring you updates as they develop.

Event Sponsorship

We are now starting to receive questions that boil down to “Who is paying for all this?”

At this moment, both events are sponsored by the Ivshin family only.

However, if you would like to be part of that we will be grateful. It will mean that we will be able provide more chairs, soft drinks and maybe even kosher pizza ☺. There are several ways that you can sponsor:
- 1. Provide some pro bono services that are needed. Right now we are in need of a Photographer / Videographer. In a few days we will develop a more detailed list of our needs and you will be able pick and choice what category you would like to participate in. (firs come, first served ☺)
- 2. Of course you can always write a check and any money that is not used will be transferred to The Boris Ivshin Memorial Fund. Checks can be mailed to PO BOX 1467, Claremont, CA 91711. We will create receipts that you can use as donation on your tax returns.
- 3. Any other way you might come up with. The sky is the limit. The only thing we are asking is: Please be clear and precise about how, what, etc.

Regardless of how and in what way you would like to participate, just know that we are very thankful for every effort that you are making. Because of that, we can all enjoy what Boris loved the most: bringing people together.

So let’s enjoy Boris’s spirit together one more time and send a strong message about sober life and sober choices. If you have any question please feel to call or e-mail us.