On May 11, at the Chabad of Pasadena, we held a Shloshim Memorial Service dedicated to Boruch Chaym Nochum (Boris) Ivshin. Which marked 30 days (according to the Jewish calendar) of Boris’s passing. The service on May 11th was coordinated and sponsored by Rabbi Chiam Hanoka. We as a family are very grateful for Rabbi Hanoka’s his wife Chana’s help and support that they provided to us.
Boris, attended this synagogue during the last 4-5 months, where he regularly spent every Shabbat and other Holidays, on his journey of spiritual awakening. He fell in love with the Rabbi’s family, his children, nieces and nephews and everyone else there. He enjoyed spending as much time as he could with them. It did not matter to him if he was playing football with them, skiing, cleaning the garage late at night or shopping for Shabbat. He truly enjoyed his time being there. Surely, we as a family supported him as much as we could in the new spiritual direction that he found for himself, though it meant less time with him.
Since not everyone who wanted to be at the service was able to make it, in the days after the May 11th service we were asked: “How was it?” In our attempt to provide you with as much information as we can, for those who loved Boris and are grieving with us, we asked friends who participated to answer that. You can read the responses below.
Also, several of the people who participated in the May 11th service asked me to post my poem that I read at the end of my speech. When I asked them “Why would you want me to do so?” they answered: “It might help others”. Because I am sure that last thing my son wanted to see is the people he loved and cared for so much being in pain, I will be posting the poem. I hope that it will bring you some comfort in this challenging time for all of us. It’s called “Conversations with my son Borushka.” If you would like to read it, please look for that post and page on the blog.
Here are the responses about the May 11th service.
“How was it…?”
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I don’t really know how to respond to such a question. One of the worst things that we will ever do is to attend the memorial service for the child of our friends.
The service was beautiful, emotional and educational. Boris’ spirit was inspiring as described by his friends and the temple members who rallied to give us all a better understanding of who he was and what he meant to them.
To us it was an uplifting experience that we are glad that you allowed us to share it with you all.
Love,
Frank & Elizabeth
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I was glad to be at the Temple service for Boris, to be there in support of you and your family, and in community with others who love you and feel your pain. I was touched by the words you shared about your son and the deep love and sentiment expressed for Boris by many others. I was moved by the different perspectives and wisdom that was shared about life and death. I took comfort in gathering with others to share in your grief and love of your son.
Continued love and Light to you, Gregory, and Daniel, to all who were touched by Boris’ life, to the event on the 18th and for healing on all levels,
Sherry Phelan, PhD
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It was a very special and moving evening. It started with people trickling in before the event and some family photos of Boruch being displayed. While looking at the photos, I knew that Boruch was more than anything those pictures can capture, but I was not ready for the powerful picture of who Boruch was, that was about to be unfolded.
The room quickly filled up. Interesting mix. Religious people, secular people, Rabbis, non Jews, and friend that did not know each other but they all knew Boruch.
Soon after the first speaker, Boruch’s Rabbi , started to speak, the true identity and life of Boruch started to unfold. As Boruch’s mother spoke, there was not a single dry eye in the room. Heart wrenching and inspiring recital of a mother’s poem to her son.
Boruch’s friend spoke of his dedication to his beliefs and his uncle spoke of the void that has left a bigger vacuum than any other loss in his life. Messages of hope, strength and vision were repeated by Boruch’s mom that in turn transmitted the belief in G-d’s ways and standing strong to all present.
May it be Hashem’s will that we should all celebrate a true celebration with Boruch with the coming of Moshiach Tzidkeinu.
Rabbi Danny Yiffach
Chabad of Marina
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Boruch’s, Boris’s Shloshim was very healing. I really enjoyed hearing the family talk about him, though it was painful at times. Boruch’s mother’s poem was heartfelt and true, and spoke of her past relationship, and continuing relationship with him. All the rabbis spoke about him in the most reverent manner, all touching on how holy a person he was, and how dedicated he was to being a good Jew. Overall it was very consoling to hear about him and talk about him, even if I missed him more during that time. Ultimately it feels good whenever he comes to mind, and last night was no exception.
David Kopp
